SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS I'M TOO COOL FOR YOU?

"I'm a nerd."

"HAH! My friends and I have you so beat!"

"Whatever."

"No. Seriously. I can watch five minutes of ANY EPISODE OF STAR TREK and tell you what it's going to be about."

"... Damn."

"Yeah."

"Well, I like Star Wars."

"Everybody likes Star Wars. Doesn't count."

"Okay, fine. If I'm not a nerd, what am I?"

"I've always thought of you as boarder-line hipster."

"I.. you.. REALLY?"

"Yeah."

"What about me makes you think I'm hipster?"

"I DIDN'T CALL YOU HIPSTER!"

"What about me makes you think I'm boarder-line hipster?"

"Well, you're a graphic designer."

"Okay, but I don't really think I fit in with a lot of graphic designers."

"And the music you listen to."

"The music I listen to is crap."

"Fine, well maybe you aren't hipster but your friends definately are."

"Are you f**king kidding me? They're E-N-G-I-N-E-E-R-S. Dweeby, nerdy, socially inept engineers!"

"Well what about Matt:E?"

"You mean your boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"He's a BIOMEDICAL engineer! Besides he's from California. By California standards he's the most painfully nerdy man ever born, which, granted, makes him almost cool by Ohio standards. Did you ever tell you BFF (DBF) about your thing for Matt:E?"

"What?! No way! Come on! Matt:E is just an affair, a fling, a nothing really. Besides, he's high maintenance."

"He's high maintenance? How is he high maintenance?"

"He's demanding. Your personality has to mesh with his instantly or he throws you to the curb, therefore, high maintenance."

"Well, you two seemed to hit it off."

"I know! I've never meshed with anyone that quickly."

"Well, I think he has a bit of a man crush on you. He wants me to keep you around. He told me I should hook up with you."

(At this the Distraction giggles and leers at me.)

"Not like that! He wants us to be long term. Committed. He's afraid I might become fickle, get bored with you, and toss you away."

"HEY! That is a VALID concern!"