Monday, May 11, 2009


"Uch. Do you smell that?"

((Giant inhale)) "What? I don't smell anything."

"It smells like ass in here."

"Still nothing."

"How do you not smell that?"

"Well... have you showered today?"

"... Go to hell."

Wednesday, May 06, 2009


Wouldn't you know it? My pregnancy resulted in a baby. A girl. Nicknamed Smackaboy Punchass McMadigan. But we call her Mara for short.

April 15, 2009
10:41 a.m.
7lbs, 14 oz
20.25 inches

She earned those cheeks honestly.

And, wouldn't you also know? Her birth? Along with almost my entire pregnancy? Did not go "as planned." But that is a story for another day! Mostly because it's late (9 p.m. What? I have a kid now. Shut up.) and it's a long story. You'll just have to check back.

Saturday, May 02, 2009


Me: "The bottle won't work without these two pieces inside it."

Mom: "Okay, I get that but does anyone know what the ridges inside of the nipple are for?"

Dad: "Those are for her pleasure."

Me: "Wow."

Dad: "I know. God, I couldn't not say it, but now that I have I'm so embarrassed."