- I see him nearly every day because we work together.
- I have no life. (Call me.)
The reason I say this is contrary to popular belief is because there are a shit ton of people at work who think we are dating. And when informed that we are not, indeed, dating, they believe we should be. Let us explore some of the reasons why:
- You guys get along so well!
Alright, fine! This one is true and I have no witty (read: snarky) comment in response. - He just broke up with his girlfriend.
And god knows you could use some play. Why are we still talking, girl? Hop on it! - You guys are around the same age, right?
Which means it is your CIVIC DUTY to consumate RIGHT NOW. (I can also name three other guys I'm in the same age range of that I work with. Why not make me the town whore?) - He's cute.
He is cute. I'm not sure why I'm arguing this point. - He's good with kids.
KIDS?! Are you freaking kidding me? I... I... He... No. - You know, you're allowed to date people you work with. I know because J. and B. got married.
KIDS?! The hell people?!!!
No, no really. Kids? Good lord the woman was selling him hardcore. Like a slab of man meat.
"He's tall and smart and funny and cute and you know what else? He's good with kids. I mean, that IS every girl's dream right? It must be because you're single and what else could you possibly think about? It must be shameful for you to still be without a good man and a couple of kids. How old are you again? 24? Yeah, you should have at least six by now. What's taking you so long? Ohhh! You know what?! You should totally get knocked up THIS WEEKEND! He's such an upstanding guy, he would DEFINATELY stand by you. Sigh. I can see it now! It'll be such a pretty shotgun weddin', because NOTHING is sexier than a barrel mark in the back of a rented tux."
2 comments:
You are so snarky. I love it!! And tell that woman to shut up....kids???? Yikes!
I bet that woman's married/dating/a crazy cat lady. Why is it people who have "relationships" feel it is their duty to make sure people who don't find someone to be with. The hell, people. Maybe single people... maybe single people rant on other people's blog things at twenty-to-two in the freakin' morning after working at a bar. Yeah, maybe that.
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