I was... well, to put it bluntly, I was peeing and a strange and admittedly nerdy thought just popped into my head. What is it about expelling waste from your body that just lets the thoughts flow?
So during this very act that we all do, hopefully on a daily basis, memories of childhood conjured themselves up out of a thin pale stream. Specifically, the really dumb things we tried to get one another to say when we were nary more than waist high. I present to you: iCup. I'm sure an older brother/sister/cousin/play date asked you and you thus asked your younger brother/sister/cousin/play date at some point in your childhood career to spell iCup. As in "I see you pee."
And strange fantasies started to fill my mind. The one in particular I'm referencing involves me YEARS down the road when, not only do I have a child, but said child is old enough to come running to me CRYING IN GUT RETCHING, SNOTTY SOBS about one of my sisters' children inevitably teasing the freakishly nerdy offspring that is BOUND to come from my loins and that my MATURE and MOTHERLY response it to tell them to tell the offending cousin to spell iCup. Then (and this is when it gets almost offensively nerdish) I think that with all the iStuff coming out NOW, by the time I actually manage to squeeze out a tiny bundle of need (I mean Joy! and Sunshine! and I-Swear-I-Really-Do-Want-Children-One-Day-And-I-Promise-To-Take-Relatively-Good-Care-Of-It-Too-Even) they may even HAVE some contraption called an iCup which would render the joke null and void.
And what a sad, sad world it will be when I can't see you pee.
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2 comments:
You must be speaking of Jaymie's future children teasing your future children because MY future children with be perfect, well behaved, open minded mini trinis. (Meaning your kids will not be able to unbderstand half the words that will come out of my kids mouths.) Much big sisterly love!
Okay:
a) they'll be raised in the US so they'll speak just fine, though they WILL always have a tan, and:
b) I find it very hard to believe that your children won't be, at the very least, instigators, and at the very worst, little devil spawn children with filthy mouths who will teach mine phrases even I'm not quite sure what they mean without looking them up on the internet. Given the very woman they'll come out of, to say nothing of environment, I have to assume your children will be able to use any and all swear words IN CONTEXT by the time they're two. Three at the latest. But at least we'll know they're fast learners.
And I am rather fond of the mini trini nickname. LOVE YOU!
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