I LIKE BUT'S

There was no couch.

I was LIED TO and driven THREE HOURS under false pretenses! Three very LONG and BORING hours! It was the car ride that just WOULD. NOT. END. And there was no damn couch!!! BUT!

10 minutes in Rusty's car totally made it worth it. (And exactly WHAT do you think I'm talking about then? Yeah, Tiff! That's right! The good one! I'm the good one.)

So we hopped into Rusty's car, Dan HANGING out of the hatch in the back (WITHOUT INSURANCE), and Rusty proceeded to do donuts in the grass between two barns coming frighteningly close to hitting a number of things. Dan... well, he squealed. He squealed like a girl (Alright. To be fair, he didn't actually squeal but he did yell in a state of semi-terror). "Stop it you guys! We almost hit that! Rusty, stop!"

After Dan cleaned the mess off his pants ("Rusty, what's that big brown stain?") we piled on a bunch of brush into the back of Drew's pickup and Dan attempted to drive it back, losing a large branch in the process and almost jack-knifing a pickup pulling a horse trailer before Dan pulled it from the street.


I did NOT get to ride on a tractor. (Not that I was actually promised that but I was naive and hopeful.) BUT!

I DID get to stand on a rickety, precariously balanced, and BROKEN hay... thingy... on wheels (that I believe were once ACTUALLY attached) that was PULLED by a tractor. Then we lit that and a whole bunch of other wood and drank all. night. long.

And I found out something relating to a previous story. I am so very NOT OKAY WITH THE DARK. Holy shit! After the sun had set and I'd had a number of beers, I was FREAKING MY SHIT OUT. I had to acquired an escort just so I could GO TO THE BATHROOM (thanks, Rusty). This had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I could not walk in a straight line (Drew tried to push me over) or the fact that I couldn't keep an eye on where I was going because I kept getting distracted BY THE SKY! (Who the hell knew there were so many stars in the country?) or because Rusty was hitting on me all night which is why he was so "nice". NOT THAT I'M NOT APPRECIATIVE ANYWAY BECAUSE I CERTAINLY AM.


This was also a weekend of firsts (and seconds) for me:
- 1st time to ride on a broken hay thingy.
- 1st time ever getting drunk off of beer.
- 1st time Dan has ever threatened to BLACKMAIL ME!
- 1st time drinking a LIttle Kings (all I have to say is "ew").
- 2nd time ever doing donuts in a car.
- 2nd time needing an escort to the potty (thanks, Tiff).

We're (Dan and I) hoping to do this again in September, Drew willing. With an actual COUCH this time. I'm hoping to turn it into a going away party for Dan D. since he'll be leaving us soon for third world countries to battle poverty, dirty drinking water, and ticks.