Monday night Marta and I lounged in the... room next to the lounge. She stretched out on the couch and I stretch out on the floor with my back to the couch while wearing my oh-so-sexy baby blue pajama shorts. The ones with clouds all over them WITH! a black tank top that SOOO doesn't match the shorts. It was late, about 2a.m. and we were watching Law and Order because I have this magical ability to will Law and Order to be on the TV just by my mere presence in a room. What can I say? It's a gift AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT LAW AND ORDER IS ON ALMOST ALL THE TIME and I am focused on the drama being spoon fed to me in my little TV coma.
"There's a head in the window."
I glare at Marta incredulously, slowly shaking off the magestic haze that is Elliot Stabler. "There's a what?"
"A head, in the window," and she points to our front door.
Lo and behold, some guy is standing on our porch, in the dark, at 2 IN THE MORNING, starring at us.
"Who the f*ck are you?" but apparently he can't read lips.
Standing up and walking towards the door the first thought that goes though my mind is, "I look really dumb in these pajamas." Second though, "I don't care if your car is broken down, I am NOT letting you into this house." Then I OPEN THE DOOR!!
"Can I help you?" in my second to closest bitchiest tone of voice.
"I was wondering if there was a party?"
"I BEG your parden (when what I really mean is: GET OFF OF MY PORCH!)"
"I was wondering if there was a party."
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE THERE'S A PARTY?!"
He mumbles something like an apology and walks away.
WHO THE HELL OPENS A DOOR AT 2AM FOR SOME GUY THEY DO NOT KNOW?! I've been watching SVU! I know what terrible things can happen to a woman, the same damn things that keep me glued to my seat for the hour of my life (or four) Law and Order occupies, EVEN IF I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE EPISODE! I'M. AN. IDIOT. I could have been raped and pillage and left for dead by some dumbass who smelled of old cigarettes BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW ELLIOT STABLER IS TOO BUSY IN NYC TO COME RESCUE ME! That was so worse than the night Marta cat-called the drunk Mexicans.
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3 comments:
Aw, poor guy. He just wanted to party.
But way to leave us hanging with the mention of drunk Mexicans at the end there.
The drunk Mexicans are for another day.
I think you better come home so I can protect you from yourself and answering the door for some stranger....PS Elloit is just waiting to come rescue me!!
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