PRIZE TO BE WON

It was decided as we began trolling about campus looking (unsuccessfully) for an open pool table that I would be the prize up for grabs.

Because Matt? He thinks he's funny.

Matt's Lady Friend who we shall call Cailie, because that is her name, asked what I would have to do for the winner. I stared lustily at her and told her anything she wanted. Bitch decided she would pimp me out. Whore.

It was then decided I would belong to Cailie and make outs were suggested because boys are clever. Really. We didn't see that one coming.

But then she lost me to Matt in a thumb war. Whore.

So what would you think Matt would want to put me to work doing? Huh? Huh? Sexual favors, you say? Not even. No, Matt demanded I PAINT HIS APARTMENT! I KNOW! That's what I thought! Wasting a perfectly good opportunity with this? Hah!

But fear not, dear reader. I rescued myself from oppression, bought my freedom you might say, by SPANKING Matt and Cailie a euchre. It was BRUTAL. There may even have been weeping and gnashing of teeth.

At least there should have been for losing me. TWICE.

Whore.