- I was attempting to clean my house so my landlords can sell it (AND OH MY GOD THEY ARE GETTING RID OF MY HOUSE, MY BEAUTIFUL HOUSE THAT I LOVE AND HAVE LIVED IN FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS AND I DON'T WANT TO MOVE, LET ALONE MOVE TEMPORARILY WHILE I FIND A JOB IN COLUMBUS, AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE COLUMBUS FREAK OUT I WAS HAVING TODAY, OH MY GOD).
Ahem.
Anyway, cleaning is boring and there is a hell of a lot of it to do and, frankly, I don't wanna. - I found a link to a VERY fun, mucho easy to waste copious amounts of time on website.
- At the moment, I'm not so much a fan of men, particularly men that get to wear ex- before their once upon a title.
Rather than being all bitter and mean, I thought I might regale you with tales of intrigue and woe, love and loss, the eternal struggle of mankind.
And then, when I failed to get past the bitter and mean, I decided to share with you the tale of My First Boyfriend, because HE DOESN'T READ THIS WEBSITE. I THINK.
A little background for those of you who are not in the know:
- I met My First Boyfriend at Young Life (youth group whore!).
- When we were both still in high school.
- His dumb ass did NOT ask me to his senior prom because he thought I was WAY out of his league. (HAH! That doesn't make a lick of difference when it comes to getting asked to PROM, ASSHAT!)
- Instead of taking me he took a girl who would later, in college, realize she wanted to be a guy.
- A really, REALLY good way to piss him off is to mention that little tid bit.
- We started dating because I grew a pair and kissed him on my 18th birthday as we were playing in the snow. I know, I KNOW. I should totally keep it in the pants, but a girl has NEEDS Y'ALL.
- I really only dated him because I was flattered he was interested and I wanted the experience. Oh, yeah, and he was an Older Man (because we all know that being a freshman anything, let alone college makes you hot shit).
- We dated three whole months. He was My First A-Lot-Of-Things.
- I created and refined my Dick Tease status on him.
- Yes. He really did take me on a date to the cafeteria and I STILL waited a month to break up with him because I ain't no Gold Digger!
- I do not consider him my first love.
As for my choice in characters, I chose to portray him as he pretty well is today (last I heard/saw/any information whatsoever which was he was getting married, which, I mean, I sure lucked out, huh?), sans the cigar because I did not design the character, merely used what was available to me.
I am the devil because, well, this ex- once upon a title told me a few years after we were involved that he thought I was terrifying the entire time we dated. T-E-R-R-I-F-Y-I-N-G. Which, seriously. Me. Demanding? Yes. Stubborn? HELL, yes. Terrifying? Pussy.
BEHOLD! My masterpiece!
THE EX: Part 1* (Also known as My First Boyfriend)
Depending on how well this goes over (as in LEAVE ME COMMENTS BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL LOVED, DAMNIT) I may have future installments. Which I may do anyway. COMMENT!
*Yes, this is a pretty realistic representation of how our relationship went. Scary, I know. I promise I'm not THAT shallow anymore.
**Okay, maybe he wasn't exactly CRUSHED, but he was dismayed. Briefly.
1 comment:
That was AWESOME!!!!! I want to see more...just not starring me unless I'm hot of course. ( I am that shallow dammit!)
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