RANDOM SMANTERING

I can't sleep. And I found the green stick thing. I have to get up in 5 hours and I am not entirely pleasant without a good 8 (as in 3 more than 5) hours sleep. But here you go anyway.

You're welcome.

* * *

I bet you did not know that among my mad skillz, the shaving of the head with an electric shaver and guide attachment was numero uno.


Or that might be a complete and utter lie. Boy Roommate's Not Girlfriend was over and suggested that he was in desperate need of a hairs cut. I jumped at the chance. It is actually something I quite enjoy doing. Hell, the frat boys used to have haircutting parties (Okay, not really. It was usually someone needed it done and someone else thought, what the hell since you have it all out, do me too) in which I participating in the shaving of the heads, one reason I was surprised they asked me to be their Sweetheart. Not because I didn't do a good job because, hah! Let's be real. Of course I did a good adequate good enough... FINE! They told me I wasn't allowed to do it anymore because I missed one too many spots!

No, I did not tell Boy Roommate about the revoked head shaver privileges.


SEE?! It turned out okay! He even gave me an uber lame, I'm-a-Classics-major-surprise-surprise thumbs up.

Dork.

* * *

I have bug bites. One is on my hip and, creepily enough, it resembles a sperm. You can't really tell because of my craptastic camera work, but it's almost as if the West Nile infected bastard (okay, not really) that bit me hit a vein and it's venom or whatever that makes you all itchy and gives you ANGRY RED WELTS, traveled a short ways down said vein. Thus, a sperm tail.


And on my side RIGHT where my bra rubs.


Fantastic.

* * *

And what you've all been waiting for:

My armadillo!


Okay, so, no. It is not a REAL armadillo, per se, but it is a pretty freaking cool parlor trick, huh?

How many numbers do you think I'll get now that I can turn a dollar into an armadillo? HOW MANY?

That's right, bitches! A COUPLE! Maybe even A FEW!

And that black crap you can see on the dollar is actually Sharpie from Man Friend who wrote all over said dollar after I won a bet. Because he was a bitter loser.

And I am a sentimental asshole for keeping that dollar. But at least now I'm keeping it because it's an armadillo.

And who doesn't like armadillos?