JACKASSERY

The much funny that was spewed forth from the everloving assholes I choose to call friends this weekend:

"Your brother called me a whore. Defend my honor!"

"I can't defend THAT!"

"..."

"AGAINST!!! I can't defend against that!"

* * *

"I didn't call you a whore. I would need to first see your price sheet to make that determination."

* * *

"Look at me!"

"Oh, he's looking for the twinkle in his eye."

"I'm not going to get it looking at you!"

* * *

"I don't want to buy your ice cream."

"But you have a job (nevermind that I have one too)."

"But I'm not getting paid for it yet."

"But I got you bling! That makes you my bitch. You either owe me ice cream or sexual favors."

"Ice cream it is."

* * *

"On a scale of 9 to 10, how sexy would I be with a beard?"

"Can you even grow a beard?"

"Shut up."