HOW RUMORS GET STARTED

Bean and I followed behind Mom as we wondered through the grocery store picking out things for dinner. A container caught my eye and I giggled.

"What is so funny?" Bean demanded, barely turning to look my direction.

"That sign. It says Uncle Mike's Beef Jerky and it reminds me of something Man Friend used to say."

She relinquished her attentive stare from the hotdogs and glanced at me.

"Uncle Man Friend's Protein Injections. Can be taken anally, orally, or vaginally."

Her eyes went wide for a moment and her lips curled into a sneer of disgust. She regained her composure and, never one to miss an opportunity to delve into my sex life, leaned in conspiratorially. "And did you ever do any of that?"

"Nope," I grinned at her. "None of it."

"Really?" she asked incredulously.

My expression turned serious, almost hurt, "Why do you think he broke up with me?"

Her jaw hit the floor. "HE DID NOT!" she hissed.

I cackled maniacally.

She glared at me, still not wholey convinced. "You realize," she huffed, "this is how rumors get started."