FUNNIER IN CONTEXT

"Our gas bill is only $27."

"A person?"

"No, total. That means we each owe... $9."

"And would you like that in cash or sexual favors?"

"I'll take it in cash please."

"WHY IS EVERYONE TURNING DOWN MY SEXUAL FAVORS?!"

"Because I need money bad."

* * *

"Well, since I no longer have a date to Bean's wedding, you and Trini can take mine and Man Friend's room. I just stay with Mom and Dad."

"I already reserved a room."

"I can't stay there BY MY SELF! I'll be all lonely and sobbing into my overly iced mixed drink."

"Well... tough shit. It'll just be a party room."

"Maybe I can talk Bean into staying with me."

"ON HER WEDDING NIGHT?! Oh, you are CRUEL."

* * *

"I'll give you a piece of my gum if you let me try a bite of that bagel."

"Sure, why not."

"Oh, that is actually good. Wanna go halvsies?"

"Yeah, I couldn't eat a whole one."

"Alright, well take your half out of the bag so I don't get it all fingery."

"I don't mind fingery."

"... You might not want to say that in mixed company."

* * *

"I had an ex-boyfriend tell me once that I had very German toes."

"And how long did it take you to walk away from that?"

"We only dated a month. He thought he was smarter than me and THAT just wasn't going to fly."

* * *

"One time, after Rafia and I came here, she stopped really fast while I had coffee in my hand and it went all over me. We're talking up my sleeve and all over my coat..."

"Well... this time might not be much better because I drive like an asshole."