*For those of you who don't get this analogy, I apologize. For those of you who do, I profusely apologize.
**Yes, I do watch a lot of the Discovery Channel.
I am not graceful. Shock. I can trip while not even walking. I have no doubt you've all seen that "keeping my balance" dance I perform whenever I lean too far to one side and have to bounce around to regain a normal standing position and to prevent myself from crashing bodily to the floor.
Unfortunately, that little hop along dance isn't always an option. Like when I'm squatting. At work. In front of the printer.
Now, I work at the customer service desk. This means I am completely surrounded. There is MAYBE three feet of space from the wall where the printer is located to the wall that is the actual desk that customers (and by customers I mean devil spawn) stand at, asking me in all sorts of demeaning and unflattering tones to do their evil bidding. There was plenty of wall space for me to merely reach my hand back and catch myself as I teetered off balance while in that unflattering squat. At least you'd think.
I reached my hand back all right to what I thought was the drawer. I was off by about 5 inches. Rather than the drawer, I planted my hand and thus my weight onto the flap creatively put into the wall to hide the trashcan. I fell down.
Luckily, our trash almost entirely consists of paper products so it isn't horrendously disgusting to accidently stick your palm into the garbage but that same little flap that betrayed me? It also raked its little corner across my arm.
Two managers were behind the customer service kiosk with me at this point (neither of them doing a damn thing to help me out with the barrage of people standing before me). One asked in the most disgusted tone if I was alright. The other couldn't breath enough to even make an audible chuckle, the same manager that told me, after I asked if she'd gotten a haircut, that no, she hadn't gotten her hair cut, she'd just bought a shampoo that makes your hair shrink AND MY BRILLIANT RESPONSE?!
"Really?"
...
I deserved to fall on my ass in front of a lot of people.
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2 comments:
My worst (and best) customer service story:
It was one of those days. Yes, "those" days. The day that everyone decided they wanted to share their stupid with me. Tangent: I did use the correct form of "their" there. See? Moving on. All the busy little bees buzzing around me while I'm trying to get a name that I can't hear the trollop saying, so she proceeds to SCREAM letters at me. I twirl around with my fist somewhere up behind my ear, and, I shit you not, everyone in a good ten foot radius hopped back. I have super-sayan powers.
Your managers are dinks. I would LOVE to come speak with them. I promise to speak slowly and clearly and with as much honey-laced venom as I can. (And boy can I. It's a true talent. I have even been asked to take a bow after some of my performances.)
Take solace in this my dear, they will still be there in 5 years and you won't. It will give you somethnig to smile about every time you see them.
And what the f*ck is she trying to pull? Shampoo that makes your hair shrink?!?!? She deserves to be in retail for the rest of her life.
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