ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

My teeth ache. Specifically, my two front teeth. (Shutupshutupshutup*)

I am LOVING this. Let me tell you how much I am loving thing. I am loving this SO MUCH, I could die for joy of it all.

No, seriously. DIEDIEDIE!

Because guess who doesn't have dental?!

Ohh! Ohhh! ME!! ME!

And guess who could PROBABLY afford to go to the dentist but won't because a) I ain't spending that kind of cash to be told to take some advil**, and b) I HATELOATHEDETESTHATE the dentist?

MEEEEEEE! Oh God, it's meeeee!

Now guess who will be sitting here just sucking it up?

I think you get the point, but in case not: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ((inhale)) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


*I swear to all you hold holy that if you EVEN start to sing that song to me, toothache or no, I will bite off your lips THAT is how serious I am. I have had that Goddamn song in my head ever since I thought up this post. At work. I DON'T KNOW WHICH PAIN IS WORSE!

**Unless, of course, they give me something stronger like vicodin, which would probably mean the trip AT LEAST pays for itself***.

***Note to those of you about to LOSE YOUR SHIT: (Like my mother, HI MOM!) I do not sell nor condone the selling of drugs under the table for spare cash. If I need spare cash I'll simply whore myself out for it. BECAUSE I AM CLASSY.