I don't know if it was the sudden realization of JUST how much is actually on my to do list or the impendng influx of even more but I had a bit of a God complex today and not in a good way (not that there really is a good way). It was one of those infuriating days where everyone I talked to seemed to expect miracles. Like everything they handed me was my top priority and I could get it done immediately.
It is true, I work fast. I apply the same sort of nervous energy to a project list my dad applys to everything.
I am not, however, anything close to a miracle worker and I have a very. long. list. Some of it my own doing. Which was another disappointment today.
I finally had the chance to present this project (that I WAS very excited about and all gung-ho to do) to the people it is meant to help and I walked away from it completely deflated. I can just sense they don't realize how much they need this project done to unify the publications the center produces and they all still have the mindset that they want THEIR stuff to stand out, not realizing this will be better for the whole.
Short sighted bastards.
I have management behind me but they aren't exactly effective at rallying the troups. It is easy to see they have no confidence in the intelligence of their employees from snide comments they made at the introduction of ANOTHER project I'm attempting to launch for them. Comments which were later refuted when I pointed out the severe lack of problems she suggested would happen.
Another problem I'm facing is simply the fact that I've worked with a few of these people before and I DO. NOT. LIKE. the one woman. She's bossy and condescending and maybe it's her regular features, but she always seems to be sneering. She seems world weary without the experience to back it up.
You know what the nicest thing anyone said to me today was? "You're a busy woman." Because someone ELSE realized how much effort I am putting into this T-E-M-P-O-R-A-R-Y job.
I feel exhausted and mentally drained and I've lost that excited spark I once had about this project which means, from now on, it's just work.
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You can get the spark back. Just wait until next week. Maybe a good approach to the 1st project launch is to try to "run into" the people in the group either when they are alone or when they are in small like-minded groups. Do a casual launch and you may develop some group support that will allow you to make the next meeting more about logistics and less about selling the project to them. Give me call this weekend and we can do some war room strategizing. I think I can help you work it out to your advantage. You hold the keys baby!
Love you and don't let the (wo)man get you down. I bet she didn't get GORGEOUS flowers for Valentine's!
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