"It's like if a briquette had a rectum and you licked it."
* * *
"Fanny in England means vagina."
"So why does it mean butt here? How did we get that so screwed up?"
"Knickers means underwear."
"No, that's bloomers. No wait. Those are those things with the elastic around the knee women used to wear under their dresses."
"And those were underwear."
"Roomy underwear!"
"What? You don't like roomy underwear?"
"I do! Heh. Wouldn't it be funny if I just dropped trow and was wearing bloomers?"
* * *
"You know what would make you feel better, Matt? If A had some scotch."
"But I don't want any scotch."
"But look at it. It likes you. It doesn't swirl like that for just anybody."
"It's trying to seduce you."
* * *
"Ohh! What if you soaked a steak in the scotch?!"
"It would no longer exist."
* * *
"Okay, what are you doing? I'm bored."
"We're sitting around talking about UFC and how my sister shamed me."
"Um.. yeah.. fun."
"Well, if you come over you have to drink scotch."
"DEAL. Wait. Let me ask
"Oh my God, you're whipped!"
* * *
"It tastes like they distilled a tire fire."
* * *
"You should pet my fuzzy thing."
2 comments:
What kind of scotch were you drinking?
Which sister shamed you?
Bean likes Tito Ortiz. LIKES him and that shames me.
And I don't know the name of the scotch.
Post a Comment