BEANIE TO THE WEINIE

Because it's my blog and I'll do whatever the hell I want to, I would like to take a moment to introduce you to my youngest sister, Bean. (That's not her REAL name. It's just a nickname. Her real name is Jaymison McSnottypants-Buttheadface.)

She's a brat.


That face isn't so much the exception. It would be much more of a rule.

Oh yeah, she's also married... and younger than me. All at the same time, but whatever. I'm not bitter. She's taller than me, thinner than me, better endowed in the chest area, and bitchy to the extreme (WHAT?! You are!) BUT! to the untrained eye, we totally look like twins.

See:

SLRd (me)	Bean (her)

Ohhh! Guess who's sluttier! GUESS! (If you said me you're a prick.)

I know what you're thinking. THAT IS THE EXACT SAME IMAGE! However! It isn't true. I'm sure if I hadn't labeled our pictures and told you she was the married one you wouldn't have known. You would have accused me of such wrong-doing as using... the.. exact same picture. This is because I know you, Internet, and you are a harsh and judgemental bitch. Petty even. But I promise you on all this bloggity holiness that those are two drastically different individuals in those pictures. And I purport that I am the better dresser. I'm just saying.

Also, a side note to her husband, this is NOT a face you can ever hope to see again:


See, because she's married she doesn't have to do that anymore. Tiff said so.

But I digress.

The reason I went through all the trouble of giving you an intimate look at the Beanie to the Weinie is because she has provided us with an unpresidented opportunity. An opportunity to go on an adventure, dear reader(s)! An adventure THROUGH TIME. Would you do that with me? Would you like to travel back a few years to the ONLY NIGHT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE that I may not entirely remember? The only night that when regaled by hilarious quotes and reminisced witty banter I routinely laugh heartily before asking, "who said that?"

The answer is always me.

Now, rather than spending the last 300+ words making fun of her, I could have just rewritten her blog entry over here, but she used such pretty (obnoxious) colors, I thought, "what the hell?" Not to mention this was so much more fulfilling.