So when that sister requested that I use my degree and make her pretty pictures on that there voodoo box I responded as any put-upon sibling would:
"Oh, god DAMNIT! What do you want? No. What do you want? NO! I'll do it. I said I'll do it, just tell me what you want! Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. No, I'm not judging YOU. I'm just judging your taste. What? No, I didn't say anything. No, I didn't. Yes, I think it's a (cough) good idea. I mean, it is if you want it to look like shit. What? Wait. No! Stop crying. Come on! No, don't tell mom, I'm sorry! Come on! It was a joke! I'm kidding! You do have good taste. No, really. I mean it. I'm sorry. No, no, you have nothing to be sorry about. No, it's just I've been hormonal recently and I'm stressed at work... It isn't you. I P-R-O-M-I-S-E. Yes. I'll do it. Now, when do you need it by? I.. what?! You realize I have a life, don't you?! I am not a brat! Yeah? Well, you're a whore! No, you go ahead and tell mom! I DON'T CARE! Fat ass. What?! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING YOU CRAZY BITCH! WELL I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE EITHER! FINE. FINE! What? Yeah, I'll do it. But you sooooo owe me."
Aaaannnnnddddd THAT is why I can't write you a proper post. Please come back tomorrow. KTHXBYE.
*Fret not. There are still 20 shopping days left until Christmas for you to buy your way into my good graces.
** The 20th. Of this month. Yes, another present is required.
2 comments:
Talk about taking artistic license with the recap of our conversation!!!! At no point in time did you say "You whore" I believe it was "Mother F*cker". Get it right dammit!!! HA HA HA
By the way, your design is AMAZING!!! As I knew it would be and I have to tell you that I passed it by my associate director and she wants to know if all of the children in our family are as gifted as you and me. To which I replied "What other children?" (JK Bean. Don't cry.) I just didn't answer and left the uncomfortable silence to hang in the air. (JK Bean - we were communicating via email.)
Hi Dad and Mom! Do blog responses weigh on on whether we are good or not? If so, we are screwed.
Well, all the children in our family are gifted...just in different ways. I have found my gift to be that I can pull of the diva/bitch attitude without an ounce of remorse. Love ya!
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