IT'S TRAGIC, REALLY

You want to know something pathetic? I CANNOT make a good pot of coffee, and I was a barista. FOR THREE YEARS.

T-H-R-E-E.

3.

1+1+1.

Oh, and don't you even go off on me about how pretentious the people who call themselves baristas are because they are just too cool and it has everything to do with the name and they think they are so much better than you because they were a barista, MAN FRIEND, because you have ALREADY made me cry ONCE (VERY early on in our relationship) over that and I am soooo not in the mood.

And why might you ask am I soooo not in he mood?

DEADLINES! And the people who ignore the ones I give them! (Oh, I segwayed the HELL out of that bitch)

I do not care if your program is our version of a media darling. Those babies are there for a reason. I will not put up with your shit. You promised me this stuff YESTERDAY, which, might I kindly point out, was the day AFTER it was due you. obnoxious. cow.

"Oh, but he was stressing over getting it done."

I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR YOU. Your lateness causes me stress AND! (oh, and) it make me look unprofessional which, when it comes to being on deadline, I am not. YOU HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS DEADLINE FOR A MONTH, NANCY (yes, I just called a man Nancy). Since it seems to take you so long, maybe you should get started on the next deadline! They happen EVERY. TWO. MONTHS. They have happened EVERY. TWO. MONTHS. since you started this job. It is really no surprise I'm asking for this stuff now. Do not EVEN act like I'm being demanding. Because I can be worse. DO NOT PUSH ME, NANCY!

Fin.