I'm not sure if you remember back a mere few weeks ago but you and I? We just got over a head cold coupled with an excessively annoying cough that woke us up at night and made me (if not you as well) crabby.
Now. I don't know if you know this, but I just checked the calendar to confirm and it is in fact the holidays that are beginning promptly at 4 p.m. tomorrow. I don't want to be crabby for the holidays. But, you see, I'm scared. Scared, dear immune system, because this morning a coworker pointed out that I was sounding a little froggy. Then, coincidence, I developed a sore throat this afternoon.
Now, I don't mean to be pointing any fingers but it IS beginning to look (and feel) like one of us (and that would be you) is slacking on the duties around here. AND RIGHT BEFORE THE FRIGGIN' HOLIDAYS! Dear immune system, WTF? I mean, I realize I'm pregnant and all BUT IT'S THE HOLIDAYS! AND WE HAVE TO DRIVE! A LOT. I don't WANNA with the sicky!
Therefore, under penalty of sleep deprivation and irritable moodiness, I expect IMMEDIATE improvements. Meaning that twinge I just felt in my left ear? DAMN WELL BETTER BE NOTHING OR SO HELP ME GOD!
Sincerely,
The Management
* * * * * * * *
Dear Dog-Thing,
Do not EVER sit on my hand after you have just come inside from doing your business because IT WAS WET. And I don't know if it was from your butt or your wee doggy boy-bits but I know you did both BECAUSE I SAW YOU and that sort of behavior is just UTTERLY unacceptable.
Sincerely,
Yer Mama
PS: Stop trying to steal my yarn you annoying little shit.
PSS: Thank you for keeping my shoulders warm.
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