BOO

I have a secret. It's heinous. Really and truly awful. Actually, it isn't much of a secret at all because I somehow manage to tell every new person I meet. It's also the best kept secret EVER KNOWN TO MAN because no one seems to believe me until they witness it themselves.

I am ridiculously easy to startle, and I mean easy like a pubescent boy is easy. Seriously, folks. If someone is STANDING (as in, NOT ATTACKING ME BUT STANDING EFFING STILL) some place I wasn't expecting, I jump. If something doesn't LOOK the way I think it should, I jump. This brings great joy to my roommate but WHY does no one ever believe me when I try emphatically to describe the severity of my reaction? I DON'T EXAGGERATE!!!*

Stop laughing. Stop it. I'm not actually kidding though. If it's a story, well, yeah, but other stuff. Stuff like this? SO. NOT. KIDDING.

So when Rusty ran out of my room and I turned the corner and didn't immediately see him, my brain uber quick went through the mental deduction to figure out he had already turned the OTHER corner and was on his way down the stairs.

Except he hadn't.

And he wasn't.

In the moment it took for my eyes to sweep over to where he was standing he didn't even NEED to say the mumbled, "boo" that tumbled awkwardly from his lips, his hands up like claws. Nope. It. wasn't. necessary. The scream that erupted from the very fiber of my being in turn startled the shit out of him. He LEAPT away from me, falling against the wall, arms up in defense, a disgusted and pained look on his face until the shrillness subsided and I was left clutching the wall and my chest, panting.

The biggest problem with this affliction (asside from the uncontrollably loud screaming) is if I don't manage to startle someone with my reaction, I usually don't get a chance for retaliation. That, however, was not the case this weekend. While Rusty was minding his own business (and showering, as it were) I plowed my way into the bathroom, really just to be a pain in the ass, and went to the end farthest from the door to peak in, the thought process in my head being I was less likely to get wet. He heard the door open and looked out to see what was going on just after I'd managed to sneak by. Satisfied that it was all in his head, he turned around to see my floating head peering at him (the upper half of him) and he nearly jumped out of his skin, yelling obscenities and spouting hatred, and again I was left clutching the wall and my chest, laughing.

And I'm beginning to see why y'all think this is so fun.

*Except for that one time!