AS WE WERE DRIVING AROUND LOOKING AT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

"I hate. Hate. HATE. those freaking blowup Christmas decorations. They are the spawn of Satan. PUT UP SOME DAMN LIGHTS YOU FAT AMERICAN!!"

"Well, we don't have to have them at our house."

"Oh! We WILL NOT have them at our house."

"Well, how about a blowup Brutus?"

"..."

"What?! Just from Friday night to Sunday morning."

"Oh, HELL NO."

"How about just during game day?"

"Absolutely not."

"Uhhh! But the team stuff was around FIRST. You would have liked it before the Christmas stuff got popular." (Note the whiney quality here)

"... No, I wouldn't."

"What if we call it an inflatable team mascot rather than a blowup doll?"

"NO. You can, however, decorate the rec room all you like with OSU stuff."

"That's right I can. AND I can decorate wherever else I want!"

"..."

"With your permission."