Thursday, November 02, 2006

CANNIBALISM

My class was cancelled for this evening and do you know what that means?! Here are my (your) choices:

    a) Taking the wonderful opportunity to play catchup on my portfolio and various readings and assignments, including the two scary looking articles I still have to create (e.g. pull out of my butt) for my writing seminars.

    b) Napping.

    c) Packing (The plan is to slowly but surely move all of my crap back home to Mommy and Daddy's so it isn't so overwhelming and to drag the sappy sentimental pain and heartache out as long as possible).

    d) Anything related at all to personal hygiene.

Alright. Let's be bloody, effing honest here. I haven't done ANY of those things today. Why not? Well for starters, breakfast was delievered to me IN BED this morning by one very nice roommate who made cinnamon rolls. Why I'm using that as an excuse is beyond me other than the fact that I really haven't been FORCED from my nest in order to fend for myself today.

I did do something productive by way of applying for another job on careerbuilder.com and monster.com. The deal with Mother Dearest* is that I will apply to AT LEAST one place per day for the next two weeks so she doesn't decide to respawn Satan (and thus depression) upon my consciousness.

(THANK YOU SO EFFING MUCH, JAYMIE - not that the youngest of the R. clan even reads my blog but OH! will she get her comeuppance the next time her pretty little face is within clawing distance. You know a conversation with your mother is NOT going to be good when her response to you ANSWERING. THE. PHONE. is this, AND I QUOTE: "I just got done talking to your younger sister about her lack of a job and now I'm on the war path." All I've got to say is my Christmas present better be expensive you little shit and I hope she made you cry.)

Despite this recent jump in job hunting activity on my part and finding a couple of publishing jobs I WOULD KILL MY YOUNGER SISTER FOR (or at least fake it pretty damn convincingly), I have yet to hear anything by way of a response. True, I need to give it a little time for it to sink in how wonderfully brilliant I am and for them to decide between my asking salary and 50 bajillion dollars AND the fact that it would be slightly convenient for them to wait to schedule an interview until I've gotten psycho Mom to buy me a suit to interview in... I just want it resolved BEFORE I HAVE TO MOVE BACK IN WITH MY PARENTS. It is one thing when you can avoid picking up the phone ("I don't want to be like Grandma. I know what it's liked to be nagged to death.", ((COUGH)) You aren't like Grandma. GRANDMA DOESN'T KNOW WHERE I LIVE. - Oh, she knows the mailing address for the occassional card with pretty green paper stuffed inside but we all know she's at the age where eating her own offspring is beyond her physical capabilities so driving to Cincinnati ISN'T AN OPTION.**)

Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. Both of them. Even though Dad is winning that whole A-parent prize by default right now. Hell, I even LIKE them. I am WILLING TO HANG OUT WITH THEM whenever I manage to make it home. But I still don't want to move back in, free rent and all, because I would like to CONTINUE liking my parents. And being able to not pick up the phone is an appealing option.


*This is the name I use for her when I'm not particularly charmed by her existance.
**I'm not insinuating that MY mother wants to eat her young. My bright red guts strewn all over the floor is a pretty clear indication.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

We'll talk when you come out. (That way you can't decide to not answer the phone.) We'll see who I know and what you want. Maybe we can come up with a plan.

Way to go Jaymie.
Hi Mom and Dad.

sarah cool said...

Go here:
http://www.kendle.com/careers/careers_contact.php

I work here and abso-freaking-lutely love my job. You'd get in as entry level, but they are an amazing company. Put my name as a reference. If you find anything you want to apply for, LET ME KNOW, and I'll pass it along personally to HR.